All of us get angry. Some of us get angry very often. Some are able to control the anger. Some of us express our anger freely, whereas some suppress it.

Why do we get angry?

Is there any way to control our anger?

We get angry when we are stopped doing something. Or when we don’t get our way. We get angry when our desires are not fulfilled, or when people don’t agree with our viewpoint.

Many times we get angry when we find our views do not align with the views of our friends, our peers, or more often, strangers. Those people who have not managed to understand their emotions fully will also become angry when feeling anxious or scared. Some people seem to live in an almost continual state of anger, which bubbles away just under the surface.

We are all feeling stress and pressure in new ways. Trying to parent, educate children, work, run a home and find time for ourselves. And we’re often doing more than one of these things simultaneously.

It’s no wonder that our emotions often run hot. And we all react very differently to the situations that we find ourselves in.

Can we use any techniques to control anger?

Do you react immediately, or think about what went wrong before reacting? Those who react spontaneously, get angry fast. Those who think about it before reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better.

Maybe now is the time to try and count up to ten before reacting? It’s something of a cliche, but it can genuinely work. Counting to ten might not totally diffuse our anger, but it will certainly help prevent impulsively, and doing or saying something we might later regret.

Understanding other people’s viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? We could at least try and understand what they think and why they’re thinking it?

This is big game changer with children – once we realise that they have the same emotions as us it is easier to see why they are frustrated.  If your child, boss or partner is angry with you, you need not react immediately. Give some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to the anger. If at the end you realise that the anger was totally unjustified, you can chose to forgive and not react angrily.

Emotions such as anger can be controlled.

It needs reflection.

It needs practice to exercise restraint.

By winning over your anger you will become a better person, recognise how you are feeling, acknowledge how you feel and create a plan in your mind to manage that emotion. Eventually you will have full control of your anger.